Giving from the heart

28 Nov

Giving gifts improves relationships, but it’s important to remember that a true gift is given without obligation to the recipient. Gifts are wonderful when they are given unconditionally, with love and from the heart. The important thing is that the receiver feels the love primarily because the giver is focusing their attention and care on them. Is the festive season joyful, or do you feel pressure about finding the perfect gifts?

At Vida we strongly believe in the psychology of relationships, it’s something our success is founded upon. With this in mind we love the approach that psychologist Richard Stuart devised in his book “Helping Couples Change” in which he proposed that couples should list all the things they secretly wished their partners would do or like. Now clearly you could have some fun with this by listing a 10-carat diamond or a new Ferrari, but you could also each have some fun writing your Santa wish lists for each other.  

If you’ve got a sense of humor you could put a ring that contains lip balm (yes you can buy these), or a toy car Ferrari in a Christmas stocking. Set the mood and scene, get a wonderful dinner happening, some champagne or great wine, light the fire if you have one, or at least some candles. Put on the right music and each write your list to Santa (aka your partner). This may be the fail-safe way of knowing what your partner wants.  

For those with a keen sense of imagination and who really know their partner well, you’ll know how to get it right because you really listen. Do you know your partner’s favorite music, flowers, wine, colours, sport? Gifts don’t have to be extravagant, and when they demonstrate that you really know

 

by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation. Rachel also sits on the Board of Advisors for the Matchmaking Institute.More by this author