Balance is important when seeking out your ideal gay partner. It’s good to have someone who challenges you, and expands your horizons, but it’s no good if you don’t want the same things.
Sometimes when we imagine our ideal partner we take ourselves out of the equation. We might imagine skiing down the French Alps and dinner parties with fabulous friends, long days hiking and camping, spending time together under the stars – but then you remember that you don’t actually enjoy doing those things and that’s a fun dream, but isn’t actually what you want your future to look like. It’s like looking at furniture catalogues, or design and style moodboards on the internet. You might see something lovely, but you don’t necessarily want it in your own home.
Start with yourself. Start with how you’d like to spend your life if you had to live it with your best friend instead of a partner. Put yourself first in the picture of your future. Remember that you, too, are a smart, attractive long-term partner that someone is looking for.
How to do it:
Once you have a clear picture of what you, yourself are seeking, then imagine who would best fit into that picture with you. Forget their physical appearance – of course physical chemistry is important but for the time being focus on their core personality. Who is the ideal person who would fit into your ideal world?
At our core we are creatures of habit. We are who we are and we like what we like. Small habits are changeable, but core personality isn’t so readily altered.
So when considering your future we suggest the first approach – start from the beginning, start with your own dreams, and build from there. If you picture it, it will come. In this case we hope ‘it’ will be a handsome, professional, gay man.