Surviving the holidays as a singleton

28 Nov

When loved up friends are positively oozing with festive romance, does it make you want to hit them round the head with a strong bunch of mistletoe? Do you retreat in your pyjamas to a rom com with a magnum of cote de Rhone and a box of Kleenex? You can survive the season single with our tips, and a gentle hint that we’re all about romancing a match here at Vida. Read more here…

1. Count your blessings.

Take a moment and think about how lucky you are to be alive. And to be alive in a part of the world that affords luxuries that only a fraction of the world has access to. Think of all the things in life you are grateful for. This is a ‘old’ positive psychology trick, designed to keep low mood at bay. Literally write down three things you are grateful for and then say them out loud.

2. Take yourself on a couple of ‘ego dates’.

In line with the saying “you can’t expect someone to love you, until you love yourself”, how about organising things only for you. Be it a massage, trip to your favourite museum, bookstore, wine cellar or treating yourself to chocolate, new shoes or coat. You could even borrow a dog and take walk in the park. Anything that resonates with your soul, that makes you feel good about yourself. This will tap into what we call the ‘soothing system’, a physiological system that releases feel good hormones oxytocin and vasopressin.

3. Focus on others.

While it’s good to take time out and be good to yourself, doing good deeds to others boosts wellbeing also. If you dare, try random acts of kindness. Buy a coffee for a stranger or give someone a hug, and see what happens. Do things that make other people happy. The shift in focus to making others happy will make you feel more resilient and also a part of something bigger.

4. Trust you will be fine.

Remember moods don’t last forever. Should you find yourself worried or upset about being single, know that this mood will pass. No one can be anxious, sad or even happy for endless periods of time. (Such is the law of our nervous system). Trust you will be ok and use this mood to your advantage, as a motivation and reminder that you want something to change.

5. Go on a date!

Despite the rush many people seem to feel over the Christmas period, there are moments of quiet. Why not book in date with someone? This is a time you are most likely to have off work and are at your least stressful work-wise. Our team of matchmakers and coaches at Vida are here to help. Coaching will help you clarify what you’re looking for and set a plan for both the Christmas period and year ahead. Then our matchmakers will sprinkle some Christmas magic and set up some dates! Contact our team here to book a consultation.

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