As a professional matchmaker I often get asked the same types of questions. How, especially in the early stages of a relationship, do we make sure we are on the same page/ stay in tune with our partners? Once the honeymoon period is over, or after the first few dates- it is crucial to keep the passion and desire to see each other alive!
Putting the passion back (or hopefully keeping the passion) in your relationship isn’t rocket science. All it takes is a little help from us matchmakers, and our golden rule COMMUNICATION. From there you can take it just about anywhere you want. This doesn’t mean sitting your partner down for a length chat about all of your feelings, quite the opposite in fact. It is probably best to communicate in a more conversational way and natural way, wherever possible to keep the mood light. Also it is just as important to get your point across as it is to LISTEN to your partner- and be perceptive of their needs and feelings too- as you explore each other and find new ways of relating.
- Be aware of your partner’s needs. Most people with great romantic lives have them because they are equally as concerned with pleasing their partners than they are with pleasing themselves. By being a giving partner, the pleasure of offering a present or offering a kind gesture will come back to you many times over. You will realize that your partner is really an extension of you, so if they are happy, you too will be!
- Acknowledge small acts of romance. It is usually the little things that make a big difference: little kisses, pulling out chairs, taking one another’s arm as you stroll to the cinema. Letting your partner know you like these actions will keep them coming. Men especially like to feel they are pleasing you, a smile or comment that whatever it is they have done, is appreciated, will go a long way if they know it is making you happy.
- When you get a romantic idea, share it. Perhaps you want to do something totally unusual, or maybe there is an adventure you have always wanted to have with your mate. Doing new things helps increase your intimacy. Things like spontaneous weekends away, or trying something new together will increase the bond between the two of you, as you are having fun, and creating memories.
- Don’t be afraid to deal with shyness. Every couple has those moments. As we age, our bodies change and we notice different things about ourselves. We can also become shy about asking our partners for affection when it only happens upon occasion. Remember, if you feel that way that means sometimes they do. Pick your moment and gently let them know how you feel.
- Think of one thing that would make your romantic relationship better. And ask your partner to do the same. Compare notes and then just do it. You will both be smiling afterwards.
Trust the love that you feel and the person who is giving it to you. Happy dating! Vida.x