ATTRACTION: Mind over body

22 Dec


Let’s face it, male or female, most of us hate the mirrors and fluorescent lighting that adorn most shop changing rooms. So I’m posing some questions today:  what is ‘attraction’, what is ‘sexy’, and is it purely physical?

Get a group of men and women in a room and you’ll probably hear a lot of comments about attractiveness, sex appeal, and the like. But when it comes down to it, how often do we actually get that goddess we lust over?  When we talk about sex, are we talking about sex with someone we find physically attractive or does the sexiness lie within?

Ask a room full of men if they find Nigella Lawson sexy and most likely the answer will be a resounding yes.  Who else can make the preparation of an omelette seem like foreplay?

Ask a room full of women if they found Jack Black attractive in “The Holiday” and they will likely giggle and swoon. What’s not to love about a man who composes music and can make you laugh?

Attraction is not always about the aversion to the curves but very often about attraction to the confidence factor. Buying clothes that actually fit is so important to feeling physically comfortable. If you are a guy or a girl who is not model thin or rippling with perfectly honed muscles, don’t wear a black tent on a date. If you really want to feel comfortable on a date I advise you to invest in some gentle advice, whether it’s about an appropriate outfit, or a new hair style.  That unbiased advice can go a long way to make you look and feel good.

But even more important are the messages we perpetuate in our own minds on a daily basis. In with the good out with the bad. Without going overboard, showing up to a date having told yourself how beautiful, handsome, funny, kind, interesting, and intelligent you are will be evident in the sparkle in your eyes and your quietly confident demeanor.

It goes without saying that investing in one’s own well-being is a great way to change a  mindset. Think of yourself as a work in progress, not someone nobody could ever love. You are more than just your body and it’s worth remembering that your most attractive qualities are sitting there in your mind.

By Martin Turner

Martin Turner 2

Martin Turner has had a 25 year global career in events which resulted in the book Travel Secrets in 2010 and a new career in journalism and lecturing. A recent graduate of the American Academy of Dramatic Art, he has won his way into the heart of the VIDA team while zooming about the planet on new assignments and escapades.


by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

LinkedIn | The British Psychological Society |