Body language: all you need to know

22 Jun

A famous study carried out by carried out by Albert Mehrabian, claims that only 7% of communication is verbal, 93% is non-verbal with the non-verbal component being made up of body language (55%) and tone of voice (38%). Read on to read some top tips on Body Language that just may change your dating landscape!

If you were a peacock and Sir David Attenborough was talking about you, then he’ll likely speak of your body language when dating as rather spectacular. All that strutting about and displaying of your plumage, all designed as a colourful effort to attract females who are just not dressed as nicely as you are. The animal kingdom is as much a wonder to observe as the human one is when it comes to body language. Shyness can convey vulnerability. The lowering of the eyes or the head along with the protective folding of arms and legs. Or possibly standing or sitting up straighter, lifting the chest and engaging in direct eye contact may be bold and clear.

If you’re on an arranged date set up by your professional matchmaker, you won’t be having to woo your partner from across the room, so how you proceed with your body language is going to have an influence over the success of that meeting.

Mirroring body language by leaning in to intently listen, or leaning back to contemplate what has been said demonstrates keen and personal interest. Conversely, sitting with your arms folded over your chest or wrapped across you can appear defensive and does not feel open or welcoming. Nervous tics such as continual crossing and uncrossing of legs, tapping, and covering the mouth can send out signals of annoyance or disinterest. Lack of eye contact is a date killer. Not being able to look someone in the eye or deliberate avoidance of eye contact can be disconcerting and make the other person feel very uncomfortable. You could come across as shifty or dishonest if you can’t maintain their gaze. Looking into each other’s eyes can be the start of that all-important chemistry that lights a spark. If you bite your nails, or your lip continually it’s going to appear that really all you want to do is flee the scene or you’re desperate for the loo.

What you really want to do is to be natural with your body language in a way that is comfortable, confident and warm. All easier said than done you might say if you are not the sort of person who feels confident on a date. If you need a starting point, a smile is the best way to begin and to move forward. Not a nervous insane and endless smile, but a nice natural and relaxed smile at the right time.  Not only does it relax the face and help you breathe, but will go a long way to helping you keep eye contact and sustained interest in your date.


Don’t hesitate to get in touch for some dating coaching or relationship advice. My team of senior matchmakers are on hand to help you!


by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation. Rachel also sits on the Board of Advisors for the Matchmaking Institute.More by this author