First-date hack: be proactive

04 Oct

A first date can be nerve racking for the best of people, but how can we be sure to make the best impression possible?

It is not uncommon to be on a first date and feel a little nervous or apprehensive. A variety of questions may dance across your mind. Does he or she like me? Am I making a good enough impression? Will there be a second date? Or Is this another dead-end timewaster? They look bored, I am not sure they are my type, they’ll really have to impress me before I will consider them in a romantic light.

This internal chatter often revolves around the other person, what they might think or what they need to do in order for you to ‘accept’ them. Less typical, but much more powerful is if you think in terms of what you can do to make yourself desirable and attractive. I have asked many clients, how does your date know that you fancy them? What have you done to make a positive impression?

And often the reply is mundane:

I smiled a lot, I had a new suit on, I said thank you and agreed to meet again.

There is this mantra: we love those who make us feel good.

Armed with this knowledge you have the power to make the other person feel good by letting them know you are interested in them, that you fancy them. Especially if you are the type to sit back and wait for them to make the first move. There is no need to find out whether they like you first before you can show them that you do. By virtue of making them feel good by, they will want to see you again.

Instead try saying things like “I really enjoyed your company tonight”, “this date with you made me feel really good”, “I like spending time with you, I enjoyed myself”

Why not try a session with our in house psychologist on how you can get the most out of your dating journey?

Please get in touch here for more information!
Or get in touch with Madeleine for more relationship advice.


by Madeleine Mason Roantree


Madeleine has over 15 years of experience in psychology, where she is trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Applied Positive Psychology. She is currently undertaking a PhD in Counselling Psychology, and is member of the British Psychological Society, the International Positive Psychology Association & Dating Industry Professionals Network.More by this author

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