First date: “have I said too much?”

03 Dec

first date emotional

By Martin Turner

The question all men and women must ask themselves is “have I said too much”. On a first date, a second date, and maybe even a third, is it really time to start being an emotional slut? Do we reveal too much about ourselves too soon? Not that I’m suggesting that you remain aloof, secretive or remote, that’s clearly not going to get you anywhere. But as much as we may feel absolutely dying to let it all out, the wise choose the moment to refrain from showing all their cards at once.

It’s very possible that if we have been looking for love for a long time and have sensibly engaged the exclusive matchmaking team at Vida to do the careful leg work for you that you have a sneaking suspicion that you might fall at the first hurdle. The dating hurdle that is, when suddenly facing your longed for Prince or Princess on that first date you find yourself fighting the urge to throw yourself Pride and Prejudice style into their arms whilst fumbling for a lace or monogrammed hankie.

Falling in love can be the most wonderful and giddy moment where we spiral into a lush black velvet emotional cavern of longing.  All reason can be lost when we finally feel what we’ve wanted to feel for what seems like forever. Your friends start calling because the loud hiss of love rain spotting the parched landscape of your love life has finally hit and it’s audible. In that moment there is the possibility that our rational reason may run away with its frisky self.

It’s a fine art to demonstrate strength and vulnerability at the same time, but it can be done. No man or woman wants a hysterical, over emotional, clinging, needy partner. Bringing strength and then slowly revealing our weaknesses and fears in equal measure to our confidence and strengths is far more appealing.  Wear your heart on your sleeve and you’ll likely bang it into the next door frame you walk through. Showing up as the best version of yourself that is happy, warm, engaging, interesting and funny is what will make you beautiful and handsome. When in the moment you naturally reveal your weaknesses and fears with a liberal dash of good humour, it’s like moving carefully and with measured intelligence through the undergrowth.

If you come screaming madly out of the cocktail bar bushes with all your tales of woe on that first date, your poor plus-one is going to neck that martini and run for the hills.

Martin Turner 2

Martin Turner has had a 25 year global career in events which resulted in the book Travel Secrets in 2010 and a new career in journalism and lecturing. A recent graduate of the American Academy of Dramatic Art, he has won his way into the heart of the VIDA team while zooming about the planet on new assignments and escapades.

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by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

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