10 ways to help you get closer to the love of your life in 2016

07 Jan

Are you looking back on 2015 as one of your best years ever ? Or would you rather just draw a line and move on?  Pretty much everywhere you turn you will see and hear about New Year’s resolutions and advice on how to make this next year the most amazing ever. But what about if you want to create a real shift if your dating life in 2016?

Here are 10 ways to discover a whole new dating you:

  • Trust your gut. Deep down you know when something or somebody is not right for you, but we can be so good at overriding that feeling or rationalising and explaining things away.  Make a decision to tune in and really listen to yourself. If you have doubts, they are there for a reason. Pay attention to the red flags – they don’t magically disappear if you ignore them.
  • Stay available for the right person to find you. Stop wasting time on the wrong people and getting stuck in dead-end relationships.  If it’s not right for you, find the strength to walk away.
  • If you really want to be in a committed relationship be upfront about it. Don’t get stuck with somebody who doesn’t want the same – especially if they tell you that from the beginning. Believe them the first time and don’t stick around to try and change their mind by trying harder or doing more. Move on. There are plenty of really great people out there looking for what you want too.
  • Date when you’re ready, not because you’re lonely.Just being single doesn’t automatically mean you’re actually ready to be in a relationship. If there are things in your life that may sabotage a future relationship, get them sorted out.  You know what they are. Wouldn’t it be a tragedy if you meet the perfect person for you, but you’re just not ready to be with them because of other complications in your life?
  • Think beyond chemistry. We are sexually compatible with many more people than we are relationship compatible with – and naturally we want that spark from the beginning. The flipside is that we can get so caught up in the spark that pretty much everything else that is important to us can go out the window. Slow down. Take your time. It’s worth it.
  • Take the time to get really clear on what you want. Write it all down! I don’t mean just a long list of criteria – but be crystal clear about what you want, what you need and what you absolutely won’t negotiate on. Be clear about the type of relationship you want to create and especially what you’re bringing to the partnership.
  • Revamp your profile (and your pictures!). If you’re online dating or using a matchmaking service, now is the time to take a really good look at your profile and make sure it still works for you. Check that it’s all in line with where you are in your life today so you can attract somebody who is truly aligned with your lifestyle and goals.
  • Create time and space for someone to come into your life; in your head, your heart, your home and anywhere else you need.  Cut what you need to cut – whether it’s carbs, Netflix or any other type of drama that may be sucking the life out of you., especially the toxic ex , lingering and hindering you from moving on. It’s time for a clean slate in every way. You can do it. And if you need help to take the next step, get the help you need.
  • Be the person you want to meet. Pay attention to who you are BEING in every area of your life. If there is a huge gap between what you say you want (i.e. love, connection, partnership), but the kind of person you are showing up as is different (ie. ambivalent, superficial or overcritical), there will be a real disconnect and you will most likely attract people who are ambivalent and superficial themselves.
  • Be willing to take a good look at yourself. You absolutely can have the amazing relationship you want – if you’re willing to do the work.  There comes a time when you realise that all the (superficial) dating advice and tips, websites, apps, events and parties are not going to help you unless you work out the real reason why things haven’t happened for you yet.

The good news is that you don’t have to do any of this alone. There are some really great people out there that can help you figure things out. I am on one of them and I would love to help you on your journey. Once you’ve made the inner shifts you need to make, your approach to dating will be from a place of confidence and strength and you will be amazed at what can happen in your life!

Wishing you love and happiness,

Ané

Ane Auret

Ané Auret is a Dating and Relationship Coach who works with women looking to be in a committed relationship but feel that they either don’t know where to start to date again, or that they have tried everything they know how and still end up on one-off dates and dead-end relationships. Through her “Conscious Dating: Ready for Love” Programme, she helps her clients prepare and navigate the dating scene with confidence and ease, supporting them in setting themselves up for success through consciously choosing the right person for them.

Find out more at www.datingcoach.uk

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by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

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