Is the grass greener?

29 Jul

It's a truth universally acknowledged, that a man or woman in possession of a good partner sometimes battles with whether the grass is greener on the other side.

Shot of a happy young couple relaxing on a rock together at the beach

Well, man or woman, when you think you’ve found the right person, sometimes, someone else may come bouncing into your life who has qualities you think may be more suited. And often, that can be a rather tantalising temptation, which leads me to exploring whether the grass is greener on the other side.

We have all been there: life is full of choices and sometimes other options may look rosier than what we have already. It can be easy to let our minds wander to a “better place” and before we know it, we want to move on.  But this can’t be good for us I hear you cry! You are not wrong. Recent studies have shown that thinking the “grass is greener” is a key contributor to the breakdown of even the strongest of relationships, and can quickly sabotage anything good you’ve built.

Let’s break it down: when you’re dating, you have an infinite amount of single people at your fingertips. It is very easy to think that all of these singletons are available, suitable options. The reality is, however, most of these people won’t be compatible, but the huge numbers of people creates a myth that there are literally hundreds of superior, more agreeable options out there.

This distorts our version of reality, leading us to believe that the “perfect” person, with no weaknesses, is actually a possibility. I hate to break it to you, but, there’s no such thing as a perfect person!

Rather scarily, a study dating back to 1987 by Texas A&M University, found that even then, people were more likely to break up with their partner if they felt as if they could find someone else just as good — or better — to date.

Essentially, it’s not necessarily about whether you’ve been actively initiating anything with someone else. In fact, there doesn’t even have to be a specific someone else. Just the notion that you could find a replacement partner could sabotage your relationship.

Something I’ve learnt in my years as a dating business owner, is to work on what you have at home, because life-long love is worth it.

Yes, it’s easy to think that the grass is greener, no relationship is flawless. When we discard our relationships in favour of a new, shiny one, and treat it as a disposable commodity, we tend to bring the same baggage and problems with us, finding often that the newer version isn’t much different from the previous one.

The honest truth is, relationships aren’t always going to be easy, because life is hard. Stress, pressure, work, other commitments, money and just getting by day to day, can all be factors in ruining the allusion of a fairy tale ending. The reality of a real relationship is that of two people who love, care and are committed to each other, stick together through the tough times.

It’s perfectly possible to keep the magic in a relationship, building on the positives and making it stronger and happier. Once we’ve found love, remember all the reasons why you love that person, rather than focusing on what you don’t have.

After all, remember the saying… the grass isn’t always greener.


Here at The Vida Consultancy, our members are attractive, dynamic, exceptional singletons who are truly incredible at what they do – and are all ready to settle down and build a life with that someone special. We have developed our unique compatibility profiling, in which, together with our client, we discuss what they truly desire in a relationship and what kind of person they dream of settling down with. Get in touch today – fall in love tomorrow.

by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

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