Love in a Lockdown

23 Jun

Is there such a thing as finding love during a lockdown? Is now even the time to be considering it?

Confined lockdown couple doing video call du to the covid-19, Canada, Quebec city

Every television channel, newspaper, the person in front of you in the queue at Waitrose are all harping the same message ‘Stay home and isolate.’  This is exactly the opposite of what every married friend and mother have been repeating in relation to your single status for countless months or years ‘you’ve just got to get yourself out there’.  So how do you get yourself out there to find your lockdown love, without actually, you know, being able to go out?

Are you going to just put finding a husband or wife on hold? When even is the right time to meet someone? For the first time in forever your diary is probably the most free it’s ever been, perhaps now IS the time to prioritise this area in your life, despite it feeling counterintuitive.

As a matchmaker, I know that the most common regret our members cite is not taking action sooner in their quest to find love. It’s such an important part of life, yet so many people I meet are quite happy to allow fate and luck dictate the outcome.  I’ve always been fascinated by how the successful areas in life like career, finances, physical shape etc, are normally a product of hard work, investment (time and money) and expert advice. Why not apply the same standards to finding love?

With every situation lies an opportunity and perhaps now is yours.  Think about it, anyone who is in a happy relationship started somewhere. And whilst I understand the initial physical chemistry and honeymoon period is part of it, there’s also a lot more to establishing the foundations of the right relationship.  Sometimes you do need to kiss many frogs before prince charming, and if you weed out the frogs from the comfort of your own home why not do that? Here are my 3 tips to helping you find love in a lockdown.

Tip 1: Put a plan in place

Treat this like any other project. What is the best way for you to meet your potential match?

Are you an app dater? Perhaps you’ve never tried it and you think you should.

If you’re already an online dater then step back and review your dating profile. Does it reflect you accurately? Are your pictures the right sort of pictures you should be using? Is your messaging clear?  What apps should you use? Are there other ones out there which may be more suited to you? Does geographical radius really matter as much as you thought?

Tip 2: Set yourself achievable goals

You need to set yourself targets.  This can be whatever is realistic to you – perhaps 4 hours a week of ‘swiping’, could make sure you have 1 date a month.  Make sure it’s something measurable that you can hold yourself accountable to.

Tip 3: Think outside the box

Online dating isn’t your only option.  Have you considered using a matchmaker? Perhaps you’re already registered with an agency.. is your profile up to date?  Have you checked out singles events on Eventbrite?  Online speed-dating events seem to be the new thing.

Perhaps a Zoom date isn’t quite the meet-cute you envisaged, but at Vida we’ve already started to pen the beginnings of some incredible lockdown love stories.

We’ve got members in London, Zurich, NYC, LA and Dubai all putting their memberships on hold because they feel like they’re at the start of something special and they haven’t even had a first kiss.  Three months ago stories of love letters, lengthy telephone conversations and no physical contact felt somewhat archaic, yet we’re now living this new way to build relationships.

Don’t let lockdown end your search.  Use this time to online date, ask friends to set you up, pluck up the courage to reach out to someone who you’ve had a crush on for a while and make finding a partner a priority.

For some of you, the idea of swiping for hours on end just isn’t a possibility. Either because time is still too precious, or because you don’t really want to have a public dating profile. This is where Vida can really help.

As matchmakers our main job is simple – understand who you are and what you’re looking for, find someone who fits that brief and introduce you.  Easy enough.

The reality is, there is heaps that goes on in between, like profiling dozens of people before we find someone who genuinely does match your values, but ultimately our leg work can be done despite lockdown.

Even though a lot of our happy ex-clients, who are currently in isolation with their Vida match may think we work miracles, the reality is that our success happens over time. Your matchmaker still needs time to get to know you, discuss a variety of profiles with you as well as getting initial first date feedback.  None of this is dependent on life beyond lockdown.  Let us help you start your search for lockdown love now.  Get in touch with Vida today.

by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

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