Nice guys really DO finish last!!

28 Feb

For a healthy and fulfilling relationship there MUST be equal investment. However we repeatedly see relationships where one person is offering everything to someone who is not reciprocating! Human nature is contradictory, and confusing….but we are here to clear it up for you! If you think that you will gain love from offering all of your time, money and emotions… then think again! Extending yourself for someone only makes YOU love THEM more, and ties you to them. It does not make them love you, in fact it can often do the opposite and make them feel burdened, manipulated or ungrateful.
Next tip: The rule of scarcity applies, the more scarce something is, the more valuable it appears to be. This applies to everything INCLUDING people. Whatever is easy to attain is seen as common, and whatever is difficult is seen as valuable. Therefore do not change your daily routine of life for your partner unless they would do the same for you. Do not lower your value. Those that are considered “hard to get” are always those that have love, respect, and appreciation showered on them, without having even asked for it. Make sure you and your partner accommodate equally.
Similarly, we work off of rewards, if you are a self confessed “Nice guy/girl” and you cook your partner dinner after they have been disrespectful than you are letting them think that this is OK. If, however you are disrespected and you ignore your partner, you are letting them know this is not ok

To be seen in a positive light and treated well you must have EQUAL compassion, both people must be equally emotionally available, and engaged in the relationship in the following ways:
PHYSICALLY- doing things together, even if it is watching television or reading
EMOTIONALLY-meet each others emotional needs
And MATERIALLY- agree upon ambitions and work schedules

Set boundaries, respect YOUR time and your emotions and this will lead to a balanced relationship where both people are fully engaged! Vida.x


by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

LinkedIn | The British Psychological Society |