How not to kill a first or second date

14 Nov

Ruining a first or second date, is so easily done. However, there are a few top tips that will certainly help you get closer to getting a third and possibly fourth date!

bad dates

Man talking on the phone while he is on date

Some of these things may sound basic to the erudite, intelligent, and attractive person. However, it’s surprising how common these dating mistakes are and should be avoided at all costs.

First rule is don’t be late, there is nothing worse. It really is bad manners and shows a lack of planning and forethought. Speaking of manners, they are also a must! So speaking with your mouth full, blowing your nose at the table, picking at your teeth or anything else is zoo behaviour. Speaking horribly to wait staff does not demonstrate kindness and makes you look like an idiot.

If you’re incredibly boring and have nothing interesting to talk about, your date will slip into a coma. Likewise, filling the conversation with talk that is primarily about you, is also going to be a massive turn off. This is also a close relative of the bragger. The person who trots out statistics about their life and accomplishments as if it’s going to be so impressive to their date that than cannot possibly refuse them, is entirely the wrong move. It will more likely have them trying to exit the date early or running for the hills. Drinking too much and get too touch feely, is also going to make you look cheap and tacky.

So, having gotten some of the negatives out of the way, how can you truly win over your date and move confidently on to a second or third date? Basically, by doing the opposite of all of the above! Arrive on time. Demonstrate polite manners in a way that is natural and not staged. Listen carefully to your date and show up with some conversation starters that are intelligent and interesting and open up the dialogue. ‘Tell me about your favourite movies’ makes for interesting conversation and helps you to begin to know what your date likes and does not like. Travel experiences are also easy conversation and allow someone to express themselves about what they love and feel passionate about.

Did you ask them in advance what sort of food they love so you could book somewhere that they would genuinely enjoy? If you avoid the need to rush out everything about yourself or to probe too much for information from your date, you leave more for the second, third and fourth dates.

One of the lovely things about dating someone is getting to know them, you don’t need to do it all on the first date. If you want to make the most of that first date opportunity, remember that first impressions are what count.



by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

LinkedIn | The British Psychological Society |