Overcoming the Challenges of Finding a Long-Term Partner as a High-Achieving Woman

25 Mar

You’re internationally minded and a high-achiever. You have both a high EQ and IQ, and a growth mindset. You thrive on career progression and are good at what you do. Finding a long-term partner might not be one of your goals in which case my advice below won’t apply. However, if you consider yourself to be a high-achiever and are serious about finding a long-term compatible partner, read on...

High-achievers walking together as a couple

I’ve been matchmaking for 15 years and I have met thousands of high-achievers, who are jaw-droppingly impressive women of all ages and life stages who tell me they don’t want to become victims of their own success. They describe to me the challenges they face with dating, that usually includes being time-poor, travelling so much they sometimes forget which time zone they’re on, encountering one-to-many partners who are intimidated by their achievements, and simply not meeting prospective partners who are an intellectual match.

5 Tips to Help High-Achievers Find a Long-Term Compatible Partner

  1. Be clear on who you are truly compatible with 

High-achievers sometimes approach dating as they’d approach a project at work and keep detailed and lengthy tick-box lists of what they’re looking for in a partner. This is fine to an extent, but have you ever considered whether your wish-list is accurate? If you don’t have clarity on who you are truly compatible with, then you’ll find yourself chasing your tail and worse still, potentially landing yourself in a relationship that will leave you feeling unfulfilled. When seeking a long-term partner (and especially if you’re seeking a life-partner), you need to be aware of your core values and the values you seek in a partner. This isn’t something you can just choose. It’s an inherent part of who you are, and remarkably most people I meet, have never delved this deep when seeking a long-term partner. If you’re unclear on how to identify your values, get in touch with one of our matchmakers, so we can steer you in the right direction.

  1. Make effective use of your time

When you place a high value on your time, you need to optimise the time you invest into dating—just as you’d optimise any other element of your hectic lifestyle. Take dating apps: studies suggest that swiping to find a partner consumes 60-90 minutes per day. Did you know that you can learn the tactics required to navigate online dating with optimal performance? Our experts can teach you everything you need to know, or better still, you can outsource your partner search to a matchmaker.  

  1. Think about how you approach the dating experience

Have you ever been described as intimidating by your partner? I hear this often, especially from heterosexual women, often high-achievers. You can influence how you are perceived by your partner by being conscious about the persona you display on a date. I’m not suggesting you alter your behaviour to make your partner feel comfortable – heck no. I’m suggesting you embrace your authentic, feminine self, which most women describe to me as being in stark contrast to the ball-breaking persona they display in the workplace. Dating should also be approached with a growth mindset. One date that doesn’t progress shouldn’t be automatically classed as a failure. Learnings come from every interaction. Reflecting, exploring and recognising each incremental progression towards achieving your goal will help you get there quicker.

  1. Date mindfully

When seeking a life-partner, it’s arguably one of the greatest goals you’ll ever set for yourself. That can make you feel under immense pressure to get it right. However, you want to enjoy the experience of dating itself. This can be achieved by being conscious about who you’re selecting as a match for yourself (as a high-achiever, there’s no time for winging it, or treating this as a numbers game). You should have, 1) clarity on your own values, 2) the qualities in your ideal match, 3) a clear idea about the dynamics of the relationship you’re seeking, 4) a strategy to help you achieve your goal. If these 4 steps are followed properly, you will find yourself dating with meaning and purpose. This forms the structure of our matchmaking model at Vida, and we have successfully matched thousands of high-achievers by following these steps.

  1. Work with a matchmaker

Working with a matchmaker will fast track you to towards the relationship of your dreams. At Vida, we combine psychological expertise with a world-class network of exceptional single people, all of whom are seeking a compatible partner for a long-term relationship or marriage. Our Private Membership service is ideal for those who value their time and who want to meet someone exceptional in a discreet way. Our Open Membership network is invite-only and designed for exceptional people who are serious about finding a long-term partner but choose to invest time into finding their match through other means.

If you are a high-achiever and facing challenges with finding a compatible long-term partner whatever your orientation, get in touch – Membership@thevidaconsultancy.com

by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

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