Are you ready to take the plunge?

27 Oct

It can be tricky to know when to cross the line between seeing someone for a few dates and becoming exclusive. So how can you tell if you're ready to take the plunge?

So you’ve been on a couple of dates with a few people and one person sticks out for you. The one you like a little more than the others. The one you have gone on 3 or 4 dates with. You are still not sure about whether this is the one, it’s early days… at what point do you need to take things seriously? And what does that look like?

One thing is to think you are ready for a relationship, it’s another to really be ready to commit NOW. For many, they feel a need to feel some sort of security or ‘crazy passion’ before they feel ready to vest in a committed relationship. The problem is, the other person may be waiting for the same sort of signals. There comes a point when you (both) need to make the decision to consciously pursue a relationship, even if you feel a little uncertain. Not all happy relationships start out in textbook fashion, in fact, they rarely do. What we tend to forget is the conscious effort we need to put into dating one person with the goal of getting to know them romantically – without being distracted by other potential suitors.

First ask yourself, what is it you are waiting for? If not now, then when?

You are not going to find out whether someone is right for you, if you do not mentally and physically take time out and get to know this person and immerse yourself in each others worlds.

This means you need to:

– take a break from seeing other people

– break-up with your phone- when you’re together prioritize each other and not your phone

– don’t broadcast every date on social media. Research has shown that over-sharing, early on in a relationship can impact the success. It’s important to keep some things private

– consciously make an effort to spend time with the person you fancy

– shift your focus from living as if you are single, to one where you act as a couple

It’s only when you make this decision that you will have the best chance to find out whether

a) you really are ready for a committed relationship

b) whether this person is the one for you

At Vida, we offer all our Private Members unlimited hold periods.  We believe that you shouldn’t be under any pressure to work out if someone is a good match for you,  and the best way to do that is to date someone exclusively to really see how things go.

If you’re struggling to know whether you should take the plunge, or would like to discuss any other query with an expert please contact us directly here.
Or get in touch with Madeleine for more relationship advice.


by Dr Madeleine Mason Roantree


Madeleine has over 15 years of experience in psychology, where she is trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Applied Positive Psychology. She is currently undertaking a PhD in Counselling Psychology, and is member of the British Psychological Society, the International Positive Psychology Association & Dating Industry Professionals Network.More by this author

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