The Crucial Relationship Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask Each Other

03 Mar

There are hundreds, if not thousands of questions that come up during all stages of a relationship, some of which can be deep and even controversial. However, asking difficult relationship questions in a relationship can be the key to strengthening it. Being honest and transparent about what you’re looking for in a relationship not only ensures you and your partner are both on the same page but can uncover needs and desires that you may have otherwise not known about yourself.

Loving couple at coffee house having coffee and chatting

Our elite matchmakers at Vida have compiled a list of what they believe to be the most important relationship questions. These questions should ensure that you and your partner are on the same page when moving forward into a lifelong relationship. 

We have also taken into account when these questions should be asked, as you don’t want to be asking deep or controversial questions (such as the prospect of marriage or children) during the early stages of a relationship. Our relationship guide should offer a strong indication of the best questions to ask and when to ensure you’re on track for a long-lasting and healthy relationship.

Important questions to ask early in a relationship (or when dating)

The early stages of dating are a combination of excitement and apprehensiveness. It’s likely you won’t be talking about too many deep topics or plans for the future just yet – or if you are, it’s important to balance this out with fun and less intense topics. The early stages of a relationship are all about getting to know the other person and from this, gaining an insight into how compatible you are with each other and if a relationship is something worth pursuing.

Below are some introductory questions that aren’t invasive and won’t cause any controversy during the early stages of dating.

  • Do you have a bucket list? If so, what are your top three?
  • What’s your dream job?
  • What are your guilty pleasures in life?
  • What are your favourite hobbies?
  • What’s your favourite meal?
  • What’s your work/life balance like?

Some more personal questions might include:

  • What was your first impression of me?
  • What sort of relationship are you looking for?

These questions are designed to understand more about how compatible you may be with your date and whether or not you’d like to continue seeing them in the future.

Relationship questions to ask when you’re officially a couple

Now that you’ve confirmed your exclusivity, it’s likely that there initial nerves of what your relationship has now gone. Welcome to life as a couple! The next list of questions is designed to offer an insight into whether your relationship has what it takes to last. 

Some questions for couples may include:

  • Are you okay with being labelled “a couple?”
  • Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
  • What are your thoughts on marriage?
  • If you don’t want to get married, why is that?
  • Do you want children? 
  • Would you like to move away from this area? (for work or travel reasons?)
  • What do you admire most about me?
  • What about me annoys you (if anything!)
  • Do you like my friends?
  • What do you think about my family?

Relationship questions to ask when you’re meeting parents for the first time

Meeting your partner’s parents can be a nervous experience at any age, and it’s a good idea (if you haven’t already) to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend some questions about their family before you meet them. 

Take a look below at some of our recommended questions to ask before you meet your partner’s parents:

  • Are your parents religious in any way?
  • What is your relationship with your parents like?
  • How often do you communicate and see your parents?
  • Are your family welcoming of new boyfriends/girlfriends?

All families are different and you will encounter different expectations from each family you’re introduced to. Speak to your partner beforehand about their relationship with their family to ensure you know what topics to bring up and those to avoid.

Relationships questions to ask when you’re thinking about living together

Moving in together is a big step in any relationship and the prospect can sometimes feel scary, especially if this is your first time living with your partner. 

Below are some good questions to raise before you decide to split the key to your new home:

  • Have you ever considered living together?
  • Would you like pets in our home?
  • Do you have any preferences regarding decorating our home?
  • How would you want to divide bills and finances?
  • What do we need to do to keep our home in good condition?
  • What’s your ideal budget for furniture and decorations for our home?
  • Do you like cooking together?

Next up is marriage, and there’s a fair few questions you may want to consider before popping the big question!

Relationship questions to ask when you’re getting married 

Marriage is obviously a huge commitment and by the time you’re considering asking your partner to marry you, you should know them inside out. However, with that in mind, marriage does raise a few questions that merit discussion. We’ve listed a few key relationship questions to consider before becoming husband and wife.

  • Do you think marriage will change the nature of our relationship?
  • How would we plan the wedding?
  • Would you like a big wedding or something more private and intimate?
  • What’s your budget for our wedding?
  • How long have you been thinking about marrying me?
  • Where do you see us in 20 years?                                                     

Remember, you don’t have to agree on everything and it’s not the end of the world if all your stars don’t align. As long as you both share similar core values and you’re truthful and transparent with each other, your relationship is on the right path.

Let’s not ignore that the way dating has changed since 2020

In 2020, the way we dated changed dramatically due to the restrictions set in place to curb the effects of COVID-19. Social distancing, no household mixing and ‘bubbling’ meant that dating new people during COVID was either illegal or extremely restrictive, leading many people to be very selective over who they meet, consider virtual dating alternatives, or simply stop dating altogether.

However, despite these restrictions, people now seem to be spending more time getting to know each other through online dating apps and matchmaking services before deciding to meet up in-person, and that’s where we may be able to help. 

Asking the Right Relationship Questions with Vida

We specialise in personalised consultations and compatibility sessions designed to find you your perfect partner. Our matchmaking service places a strong focus on combining psychological principles with professional consultations to ensure every match we identify aligns with your core values for the best chance of relationship success.

For more information on how elite matchmaking service works, please feel free to contact us for an informal chat about how we can help.

by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.More by this author

LinkedIn | The British Psychological Society |