Why Someone Might Fall in Love With You

05 Oct

Do you look around and see friends in your circle who are a bit of a love magnet, but for some reason despite everyone telling you how attractive and wonderful you are, it isn’t happening? As a relationship expert, I’m often asked what isn’t working, or what else can could I do?

Beautiful young couple dating in their thirties and enjoying picnic time on the sunset. They drinking tea and sitting in a meadow leaning against a old fashioned car.

You may think falling in love is all about serendipity, and to some degree this is true (one can’t plan the whereabouts of this), but it may be you are inadvertently positioning yourself in such a way that enables  people to develop feelings for you. And if you wonder why your friend just seem to have one admirer after the next, perhaps it is because of one of these 5 reasons…

  1. You have crossed paths so many times they have grown to like you.

‘The mere exposure effect’ is a psychological phenomenon that states, simply being exposed to the same stimuli (object or person) we are more likely to have a positive attitude towards that stimuli. It is believed to be because of a sense of fluency or ‘ease with which think about something’. It explains why one might like a song after having heard it several times, despite not liking it initially. Simply crossing someone’s path enough times, whether that be bumping into them in the supermarket or passing by the xerox machine, might initiate attraction.

  1. You remind them of someone they fancied, whether a real person or an idol.

We feel safer with things or people we find are familiar. We find this appealing and can spark romantic feelings. If you possess features or mannerisms that someone has found attractive in someone else in the past, they are quite likely to feel an attraction towards you. This is probably where the notion of ‘a type’ comes from.

  1. Simply being nice.

If you are actively kind and caring towards someone, they may inadvertently feel attracted to you. Some people have the knack of making people feel at ease, they go out of their way to help others and generally are kind and caring. This for some recipients is almost an aphrodisiac. Receiving care and attention elicits ‘fuzzy feelings’ and it is not uncommon for people to misinterpret such kindness for romantic attraction.

  1. You tell them that you fancy them.

Sometimes simply telling someone that you are attracted to them, ignites the attraction to be reciprocated. It is probably not the words in and of themselves, and it wouldn’t apply to everyone. But on occasion, someone who may not have seen you as a romantic prospect, will start seeing you as one if they know you consider them to be attractive. Confusing I know, but it happens.

  1. You are ok with being vulnerable.

As you get to know someone, you are likely to share more personal details, fears, hopes and dreams. This openness is a form of vulnerability, letting someone see a less polished side of you. This can bring about a sense of connection and affiliation, which can trigger feelings of love. Especially if you share how you feel about the person, even as benign statements of gratitude “I really love your company, thanks for sharing this afternoon with me”.

 

If this article resonates with you, I am here and available to support you in all these points mentioned above so do get in touch for a complimentary consultation with me.

by Madeleine Mason Roantree

Psychologist

Madeleine has over 15 years of experience in psychology, where she is trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Applied Positive Psychology. She is currently undertaking a PhD in Counselling Psychology, and is member of the British Psychological Society, the International Positive Psychology Association & Dating Industry Professionals Network.More by this author

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