Are demanding careers and strong relationships mutually exclusive?

21 Aug

Is there anything more intoxicating than starting a relationship with someone?  The fun, the excitement, the thrill…Similarly, going after your career goals can be the same. Both bring butterflies to the stomach. But balancing strong relationships and demanding careers can be a tricky tightrope walk, especially if either aspect is putting pressure on the other. The question is, can you have a demanding career, and a deep and meaningful connection? Or do we have to choose one or the other?

As a business owner and a mum I totally understand that balancing the demands of a job, alongside the real-life responsibilities involved in maintaining a happy long-term romantic relationship can be reallyhard. This can be especially difficult when one partner is working, and the other isn’t. However, new research has unveiled that having a dual-career relationship, where both partners have similar goal attainment, can genuinely work for long-term relationships, even though this often means that there’s less time spent together.

Contrary to a lot of peoples’ beliefs, the research has indicated that long working hours do not have a damaging effect on romantic relationships. Ultimately couples whom both members were involved in busy careers, on average, made a greater effort with their partners when they were together, and as a result tended to enjoy a happier relationship.Quality trumpsquantity every time.

In fact psychology professor Dr Dana Unger of ETH Zurich Universityled a study that examined the lifestyles of 285 dual career couples over a six-month period.

They looked to establish the truth of the “conventional wisdom” that a demanding career and strong relationships are mutually exclusive, and that you can’t have one withthe other. But instead they found no link. Instead of neglecting their relationships, couples were allowed to miss each other, and therefore with the support of each other, time spent together was healthier and of better quality.

In my experience there are three requirements which are fundamental when looking to grow your relationship when also juggling a demanding career:

  • Trust – you both can trust that you’re ambitious, so you can be apart for longer periods of time, all whilst knowing they’re there for you. This is even more important when yourpartner travels a lot, trusting they want to be in a relationship with you is key.There will certainly be no chance of relationship burn-out, and you’ll never take them for granted.
  • Mutual Growth– having a demanding career allows time for personal growth outside of the relationship, and maintaining a strong self of self, ultimately leading to greater happiness overall.If you’re with the right person they’ll love seeing you grow and succeed, and vice
  • Respect – you can respect your partner for their choices,their successes and their commitment to their work.And more importantly you arebothwilling to create the time and put in the effort when you do see each other.

The key thing here to remember is that providing you make the time and effort to spend quality time with your partner, when it’s convenient for you both, then there is no reason why it can’t ultimately be a successful relationship. A huge amount of Vida success stories are between two people who have big careers, yet they have still managed to make it work.

If you’re looking for a meaningful connection, to work alongside your career, then Vida Consultancy can help make love a reality. With hundreds of career-driven clients, we’re certain that we can find the right person for you. Contact us today and we’ll team you up with one of our experiencedmatchmakers who will help you get started on the road to finding love.

by Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation. Rachel also sits on the Board of Advisors for the Matchmaking Institute.More by this author

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