It’s easy to become jaded by dating, maybe you’re trying to make it a numbers game, maybe your confidence has suffered from the lockdowns, or you’re worried the right person isn’t out there? Throw in a long pandemic and it can all seem a little disheartening! Sound familiar? It might be time to stop and re-evaluate how you’re dating and coming across on dates.
Here are some steps to help empower you, feel confident and get excited about meeting someone new.
Online dating isn’t the only option out there.
Online dating doesn’t suit everyone, and you need a lot of time to dedicate to it. If you’re looking to meet people IRL then think about your hobbies and interests which would also appeal to a potential partner and sign up to classes, events, drinks, sports clubs etc where you can organically meet like-minded people.
You can also think about attending dating events where you’ll be able to meet people in person.
Make this a priority, meaning every month have one or two events that are booked in to potentially meet new people.
Be open and approachable.
Do you smile at people? Are you asking leading questions to start a conversation when speaking to someone interesting? Sometimes we forget that we are closed off; men and women aren’t going to approach or try to get to know someone that isn’t friendly, open or approachable. Usually because they’re seeing signs of being rejected quickly. If you find it hard try this, next time you’re out and about smile at people, ask people how they are – even if it’s the person serving you coffee and slowly but surely, you will become more comfortable with conversing.
What is going to get you in the mood and right mindset before the date?
Once you have a date planned, you want to get in the right mindset and get excited about it! How are you going to achieve this?
Before the date, play some music that really makes you happy, have a little dance even! This will help you put work/life stresses you might have to the back of your mind, making sure you go into the date happy and in the right mindset.
Have a couple of general questions prepared that you could throw into the conversation at any time if you feel you both might be a little nervous and you need an easy topic to chat about.
Work out what you’re going to wear a day before the date, that way you’re waking up knowing you’re ready to change into an outfit you’re going to be confident in. This will save any last-minute panic.
If you’re a woman, touch up your make-up, put on some footwear you feel great in and a spritz of perfume. If you’re a man, splash some aftershave on, get a fresh shirt on and brush your hair. This can help with getting your headspace in more of a dating mood.
And remember, happy and confident people generally do so well on dates because it’s REALLY attractive to omit inner confidence! These qualities shine through and people tend to gravitate towards them.
Remember to flirt a little!
The older we get the more I think we sometimes forget or worry about flirting. I’m not talking touchy feeling but smiley, ever so playful and upbeat! Remember to show that you’re having a good time if you are.
Do some research, find out what your dating patterns are and feel more in control.
Rarely do we think about how we might attach and how we show our feelings. It’s a good idea to look into your dating patterns, learn your dating attachment style to understand how and why you act the way you do and why some people are different. Reading about the various attachment styles really is insightful and offers a deeper understanding
The Vida Consultancy is an elite, multi-award-winning international dating agency. We’re world-renowned for bringing together highly compatible singles, and in addition, we also offer various coaching services that have been instrumental to achieving dating success for our clients. If you would like to have a conversation about any of our services, please reach out and speak to one of our experts today.