A Woman’s Guide to Surviving NYC Dating

16 Aug

For a lot of single women arriving in NYC for the first time, a lifetime’s diet of Sex and the City has instilled in them the (unfortunately delusional) notion that they’ll be landing their own Mr. Big in no time at all. Reality can be harsh. For a woman, NYC can be a lonely, difficult city to live in – let alone date in.

couple relaxing on New york bench in front of the skyline at sunset time. concept about love,relationship, and travel

NYC has a gender skew nothing short of astounding, and it is the underlying cause of a great many of the difficulties single women find themselves in. There are no fewer than 200,000 more single women than single men in the Big Apple. In most parts of the world, cultural and societal norms dictate that it is men who pursue and court women. Not so in NYC! Women vastly outnumber men – and this inculcates in men something of an entitlement issue. Many male New Yorkers treat the dating game as exactly that: a game. There is a certain mentality that, if the woman is not giving him exactly what he wants, there is no issue in abruptly ending the date and swiftly moving on to the next lady, whom he may well believe is waiting eagerly for his attention.

Here’s one thing Sex and the City did get right: NYC has a full-blown hook-up culture. With masses of young, successful, dynamic, intelligent, sexy people crammed together on an island, an island itself characterised by bars open until 4am, one-night stands are very much the norm. Last call at the bar? Last sweep of who is going home with whom!

This culture creates in a lot of guys the assumption that they just do not need to commit – after all, someone needs to go out and meet all these incredible women, right? For this reason, even planning date number two might seem like a huge leap, appearing to be a far more serious proposition than it actually is. Many female New Yorkers who are looking for love may feel the strain and ultimately begin to compromise what they really want in a long-term partner, just so they can have some semblance of a dating life.

How to deal with these overly amorous gentlemen? One thing you can certainly do is make it clear to whichever guy you are seeing that you are dating others as well (perhaps even if you aren’t… bear with us on this one!). Rightly or wrongly, this accomplishes two objectives. It gives the message to him that other guys are interested in you – thus validating him and his own attraction to you – and, secondly, instils in him a sense of competition, which might be just what he needs in order to actually commit.

This blasé attitude towards dating from many male New Yorkers means that, at some point, you’re probably going to be stood up. It’s no fun, but it’s nigh on inevitable in a metropolis with sometimes epidemic levels of noncommitment. As hurtful as it can be, try to solidify in your mind the fact that, if he’s stood you up, he is absolutely and utterly not worth a second thought. Treat is as a learning curve – a rather cruel, but ultimately invaluable, arc of life.

The overwhelming sex ratio of the Big Apple means guys have a lessened incentive to truly look and be their best. A lot of the time, you may feel a general sense of laziness and complacency emanating from men – for they can probably find a date even if they haven’t worked out in two years and they’ve got hot sauce down their tie. Conversely, NYC is full to the brim with hot, educated, successful ladies. Every woman goes to the gym, dresses well and works hard. Competition is fierce for those rare few guys who really are true gents. Even these ladies have a tough time finding love – what hope is there for the rest of us?

Well, there is hope. One answer lies in matchmaking. Matchmaking is personable, warm and tailored to your precise wants and needs in the search for a potential partner. At The Vida Consultancy, our network consists solely of exceptional singletons, both from NYC and beyond. We are an award-winning international agency and have been creating long-lasting, true, meaningful relationships since 2011. Our gentlemen are just as tired of superficiality and hook-ups as you are; they’re ready and waiting to settle down with that special someone.

Why not get in touch today, and see if our expert team of matchmakers can’t weave their magic, helping you bypass the excruciating game that is the NYC dating scene? Call us today.

Tags:

by Gina Yannotta

Chief Operating Officer, New York City.

Gina Yannotta is Head Matchmaker & Chief Operating Officer at Vida’s New York office. Gina’s unyielding passion for the field, in combination with her extensive experience in matchmaking, has allowed her to orchestrate successful and everlasting relationships amongst her clients. Tasked with running the Manhattan office, Gina utilizes her interpersonal skills and relationship expertise to make a splash in the matchmaking pool, personally connecting her clients with their ultimate match while simultaneously taking advantage of the endless possibilities that NYC offers to its client-base.More by this author